FaN Notes for July 30, 2010

So I’m going back and forth with myself. I decided to stop checking my Amazon stats until August 1st, b/c it was driving me crazy, but now I’m so used to relative sanity, that I kind of don’t want to check the stat on Sunday. I make it a policy to do the things I’m scared of, but I also make it a policy to aggressively attend to my mental well-being. Not for the first time, these two policies are in conflict. I don’t want to be a scaredy-cat, but I also don’t want to be an obsessive. What would you do? Let me know in the comments. And while you ponder that, here are my thoughts on this week’s FaN.

Yes, of course this photo of a homemade In-N-Out burger was my favorite pic of the week. Click on it to see the original item.

1. Man, do I feel Kelli Bielema’s woes re her out-of-control To Do list. Someone on Facebook suggested putting only three things on your to do list a day, so as to feel more accomplished. While a good suggestion, I think I’d be afraid that only having three things on my list would make me feel like I wasn’t accomplishing enough. Also I tend to use my to do list as a memory tool as well, which is why I guess it gets so long and out of control.

2. Monique King-Viehland’s article on the Tea Party sparked an interesting debate about ignoring verses speaking out. I’m a big fan of aggressively ignoring people and organizations like the Tea Party, because I really do think they’re fueled by our attention. But one commenter argued quite smartly that we can’t afford to ignore the Tea Party if they really are turning into a hate group. It really is the old “if a tree falls in the forest” debate.

3. I’ve been told by so many people that they only read non-fiction. That makes me sad, not only because it means that their imagination is getting little exercise, but also b/c I don’t think there are many fiction readers that just refuse to read non-fiction. Case in point, Amy Brown’s review of Sam Kean’s THE DISAPPEARING SPOON. If this fiction lover can embrace non-fiction, then should non-fiction lovers give fiction a chance? That’s all.

4. I completely agree with Joe Rusin that vacations are better after you take them … except when they aren’t. Occasionally there’s a vacation that is so good, it sparkles as you’re having it. On my last full day with Gudrun in Paris, we were walking over the Seine, after a fantastic lunch and a two-scooper of Berthillion ice cream, and I was literally stopped in my tracks by the beauty of not just Paris, but also the entire vacation. And I would argue that my memory of that moment isn’t better than that moment. But that really is the exception to the rule. In general, Joe is right, usually the memories of vacations past are the best bit.

5. Speaking of Gudrun, I loved her article about public speaking and her new job as a teacher of Filmmaking in Paris. It’s funny, b/c I was terrified of the public speaking aspect of my summer book tour, but I ended up loving it. Though, I do agree that it is physically exhausting. I had my last book event of the summer at Esowon Books yesterday, and I woke up feeling wrecked, just like I have the morning after every speech I’ve given. I wonder why that is?

100% Mother

You should know that I don’t label myself as a mom. I consider being a mom a really special part of my identity, as opposed to my title. For example, I didn’t list being a mom in my biography. When people say that being a mother is the most important job you’ll ever have, I think “Really, the most important? I could (probably won’t, but technically could) write a Pulitzer-winning novel that people are reading long after my daughter and I are dead. I mean I know women who are working toward cures for different types of cancers, is motherhood really their most important job? What a weird thing to assume.”

Read the rest of this entry »

Choice A

An old friend of mine wrote a great blog post about being frustrated with her career and my answer to her blog post was as usual 1) way too long and 2) more helpful to me than to her. But basically it can be boiled down to this. Every artist has three choices to make in life. A) Do your own art and accept that you might never make a dime doing it or B) Do art for someone else and be unhappy or C) Don’t do art at all and go crazy.

Actually it’s not really a choice, because no one ever makes a firm choice not to pursue their own art. Everyone who dies without trying to make a career out of their own art basically waffles until they expire without making a firm decision.

It’s not a blue pill or red pill situation for artists. Choice A, unlike the pill that makes you forget, is always on the table. Even if we opt via indecision for Choices B or C, Choice A will haunt us until the day we die. In fact, Choice A will probably be what we think of with our dying breaths.

I wish I had better news for you, but those are the grim facts of art.

So I say just choose Choice A. Yes, it’s the hardest choice you’ll ever have to make, but at least you chose. At least you tried. I think everyone (including me) is afraid of taking chances. But those who do never seem to regret taking them on their death beds. I’ve never heard of anyone saying, “I wish I hadn’t written that novel, or tried to sell my art, or pursued my dreams. I really regret doing that.”

Also, there’s something rather practical about deciding to pursue your dreams. When you make a firm decision, then you can make plans. You can start saving money toward your goals. You can figure out how to make things happen and how you might keep yourself in food and shelter if no one agrees to pay you for your art. Plus, it’s entirely possible to pursue Choice A while Choices B or C supply you with day-to-day funds.

Everyone is afraid of failure, but the fact is that trying will make you infinitely happier than not trying. Accepting your fate is the only way to carve out a new one.

If you never decide, then you’re stuck in a dream state, one that only becomes more and more depressing as you age. I have nightmares all the time, but you know what dreams used to upset me the most? The ones where I was at my dayjob, toiling away or trying to meet some impossible deadline. I would wake up from those dreams feeling depressed, because I had just spent additional hours working, hours that I wasn’t compensated for monetarily or emotionally.

Funnily enough, I never dream about writing my novels. And even if I did, I wouldn’t mind.

I decided to abandon my FT radio writer job and seriously pursue novel writing right around this time two years ago. And when I look back on it, actually making that decision was the hardest part. Don’t get me wrong, the rest of it was also hard. It’s just nothing’s as hard as taking that first step.

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Photo Credit: Hector Garcia (click on pic for more of his photos)

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Oh, and hey, don’t forget, my last book event of the summer is THIS THURSDAY at Esowon Books in LA.


“How” Do You Write?

I usually write in bed. In fact, I am writing this in bed, with back support provided to me by my husband — the stuffed kind, which was funnily enough, given to me as a back-saving gift from my real husband when I was pregnant. As for the three hours a day that I dedicate to writing business and writing-writing, I used to do those hours in bed, too, but as of this spring, I’ve been officially using my basement office. I have my grandfather-in-law’s heavy wood desk down there along with a swanky ergonomic chair, both of which I bypass to write on the gnarly basement couch with my feet up and my dog Tulip snoring while snuggled against my legs. I write in silence (aside from the soundtrack of Tulip snoring and my baby playing with my MIL upstairs) and in comfortable clothing. I do own a vintage orange typewriter, but I don’t actually write on it. I write on the MacBook Air, which I promised I would buy for myself if I ever got a book deal.

I don’t know why I can’t seem to get into writing at a desk. I wrote in a proper chair all the way up until I got my post MFA day job. M/b I wrote fiction in bed to separate it from my actual work back then. But now that fiction writing has become my actual work, and I’m still writing with my feet up. Go figure.

But that’s “how” I write. I often wonder how other writers write though. I imagine they actually use their writing desks with nice music playing in the background and clever little desk buddhas and all sort of other romantic writer accoutrements. Let me know if that’s true in the comments.

Also… I hate when I do this. I made a note to myself to write about “how” I write on Tuesday. And I know this idea was inspired by someone or something I read, but I can’t remember what it was, so now I’ve nothing to cite back to. I guess I’ll just direct you to Evelyn N. Alfred’s blog, where she’s taking us through the process of writing a song step-by-step. Fascinating!

Friendly reminder! My last book event of the summer is THIS THURSDAY at Esowon Books in LA!


The Last 32 CANDLES Book Event of the Summer

… So let’s make this good.

I know that quite a few of you gnashed your teeth and rented your clothes over the fact that both my LA area book events were on Mondays, which conflicted with (yes, these were actual excuses) stand-up comedy class, pole dancing class, and accounting class — apparently a lot of you decided to spend the summer learning how to do random stuff. I’m proud of you for that, but I also want you to come out to my book event, so how happy am I, that my last event of the summer will be THIS THURSDAY at the wonderful Esowon Books in historical Leimert Park?

Please do come out. More info below and click on the pic to RSVP if you haven’t already.

Highlights from the Road [FaN Notes]

I had what I’m fairly sure is going to be my last on-the-road book event of the summer at Artworks in Trenton last night. What a fantastic night of local art, food, and books (provided by the local independent bookstore, Classics Used & Rare Books). A ton of fun was also had at the NYC party the night before, moreso, because it was just rotten with intelligent Smithies (pics soon).

But enough about me. Let’s talk about our ridiculously awesome week on Fierce and Nerdy.

I love that these Antenna-aids are both super-duper cute and only $4.99 at Etsy. Click on the pic to read CH's article and buy your own.

1. You’ve got two more days to vote whether to keep the Fierce and Nerdy tagline “Puttin’ the chic in your geek” or go with the new one “We’ve got your geek right here.” So far the old tagline is winning. So if you want a new one, you’d bet vote now.

2. I’ve been avoiding renaissance fairs like forever. But as much as I loved the movie Labyrinth, I might have to take Michael Kass’s advice and give The Labyrinth of Jareth Masquerade Ball a try.

3. I’m sad, b/c I don’t have another present-receiving occasion until Christmas, and Debra Goykhman has convinced me that I really can’t live without a Nespresso machine.

4. Friendly reminder to visit HELLHOUSE co-writer and beloved FaN contributor, Ryan Dixon, at San Diego Comic Con. He’ll be signing copies of his graphic novel, HELLHOUSE on Saturday from 12-2pm at the Viper Comic Book stand.

5. I agree with Justin Time that a sincere apology would have been better than whiny excuses about the iPhone 4’s reception issues. I’m not going to kick my iPhone 4 out of bed, but as a super-fan, I’m starting to wonder if Apple is taking us for granted if they can’t even come up with a decent apology.

6. Dang you, Zack Bunker for making me have to resist the urge to yell, “GWAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRR!!!!!” for like 24 hours now.

NYC Smithie Photo courtesy of Mosaic Literary Magazine

THEN and NOW: Angela G

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Then:

Did you consider yourself an ugly duckling in high school?

I don’t know that I was an ugly duckling in high school but I was definitely awkward. I was extremely shy growing up and we moved a lot which made things difficult as a shy child. I never seemed to fit in with any of the “crowds” in school. I always felt like maybe I was just born in the wrong decade. I was into peace and love and everyone getting along. I was interested in human rights and saving the planet.

Now:

When and how did you officially “swan?”

Now that I am an adult,I have friends who are like minded now but I also have learned to embrace lots of different people as friends. I find it interesting to get to know people and to try and understand their point of view. You can learn a lot by listening to what others have to say even if you don’t always agree with them. I am so much happier as an adult than I was as a teen. Now my children are teenagers and I am hoping to make their experiences growing up happy. I hope that they can look back on their High School years fondly. ..

Advice:

What advice would you give to the Before you?:

I think I would make sure that I told the before me to quit being so afraid of everything and everyone, because now that I look back on my life I can see that was what held me back. Fear of the unknown and fear that people would not like me or wouldn’t understand me. I have to fight these feelings still. However, now I can tell myself that I will not let the fear beat me anymore. I am a strong capable woman.

Decided to Stop Checking My Amazon Stats Till August 1st

… and I’ve been happier ever since. I do wonder how many authors have made this choice to stay sane. Another question I was wondering about the other day: Is getting published a right or a privilege. I’m not a big believer in rights or deserving for various reasons, so I consider it a privilege. But then again, I certainly understand the frustration of good writers not getting published. And I have a real problem with people who want to write not doing so. If you have a novel inside of you, I feel you owe it to the world to conquer your fear and write it. But that’s me. What do you think?

The Glamorous Life

The other day after my Dallas book event, someone told me that I must feel so glamorous, having a book signing with a crowd coming out to you know, see me. I told her it didn’t feel all that glamorous, but when she challenged me with “Really?”, all I could come back with was a bunch of mumbo jumbo about the loads of anxiety that accompanies publication. This didn’t seem like an authentic answer, since technically I’m way less anxious now. And there’s something to be said for the fear of failing to meet your sales goals as opposed to the fear of failure all together.

Betty right before...

This new fear is very specific and therefore attackable. The old fear had felt like it was crushing and choking the life out of me before I got my first full-time writing gig. I love the new fear way more. It makes me feel like a future titan with several thrilling challenges lying before me. The new fear actually makes me happy. So no, my “more success, more anxiety” didn’t really answer her question. As I go about my book tour, why don’t I feel glamorous?

Then my daughter Betty did me the favor of answering that question the very next day.

After we put Betty down for her nap, I was working hard to clear out my inbox before she woke up. But then she started crying again. I asked my nephew to mute his video game. Maybe it was keeping her up. But a few more minutes went by and she seemed to be getting more upset. I sighed. My husband offered to go pick her up for a few minutes and then put her right back down when she calmed down, as my most beloved baby-rearing book had advised me and I had advised him.

I went back to sorting out my inbox, only to hear, “Honey, I need your help!” less than a minute later.

How to explain? Well, upon arriving in Dallas, we were happy to discover the impossible-to-find in L.A. Huggies Denim diapers just hanging out at the local Krogers. We got a pack and had been pairing them with tops and simple muumuu-like dresses for a few days. After a lovely trip to the mall library (more on that later), Betty was tuckered out so we put her down in her pack n’ play crib with her security blanket. We were innocent. We assumed that she was innocent, too.

That was before.

After my husband called out to me, I walked into a now-smelly room to find that my daughter had torn off her clever denim diaper, pooped on the bed, peed on top of the poop, then had gotten upset, because what was she a Bangkok prisoner? Obviously she couldn’t sleep in these conditions. So she had called out to her servants parents.

And as I cleaned her up and put her in a new outfit, while my husband gave her pack n’ play the hazmat treatment, replacing her security blanket with it’s back-up, I thought, “This (literal) shit right here is why I don’t feel like a glamorous writer.”

That’s all.

I See You Pasadena, NYC, Philly, and New Jersey!

32 CANDLES has a very exciting week ahead, so let’s rundown our latest news, shall we?

1. Just in case you missed my announcement about the last chapter missing from the e-version of 32 CANDLES, please get the details HERE. We want everyone to read the full book and hope to have this all resolved soon.

2. Friendly reminder to keep on spreading the word about 32 CANDLES. We’re hoping to collect 50 Amazon reviews by the end of the month and the more tweets and Facebook updates you can spare, the better. The fact is that if this book is successful, it’s going to be successful because of your word of mouth. So please don’t stop talking about 32 CANDLES yet.

3. I’ve got a book event at Vroman’s Pasadena at 7pm tonight. LA folk, please come out! More info can be found HERE.

4. The publisher is throwing a book event for 32 CANDLES at Georgia Salon in Manhattan on Wednesday night at 6pm. NYC folk please come out. More info can be found below.

5. Live in the Philly/New Jersey area? My BFF extraordinaire is throwing a book event at an the Artworks Gallery in Trenton, New Jersey on Thursday night. And that info can be found HERE.