Then:

Did you consider yourself an ugly duckling in high school?

I absolutely considered myself an ugly duckling in high school! My mom worked at a private school and I was accepted to the school on a full-scholarship because she was an employee. Here I was, this poor kid wearing hand-me-down clothes going to class with girls who had parents who made literally 10 times (or much, much more) what my mom made in a year: the children of senators, CEOs, and other economic elite. They’d all dress down for the school week, but the weekend would roll by and their designer clothing would come out along with an apparently in-bred ability to do their hair and make-up perfectly. In the meantime, I was thanking the Lord that the grunge look had come into style and gleaning what fashion advice I could from Seventeen magazine. .

Now:

When and how did you officially “swan?”

After a few years, of trying to hide, I took a chance and tried out for my school’s select choir, and… I made it. Seven other girls and I were trucked all over New England to performances and competitions. I realized that I was actually pretty good at something, and with that, I began to value myself, not the clothes I put on myself. I spoke up more. I stopped coasting in my classes, and went from being an OK student to excelling. To be frank, by the time I graduated, I was probably lacking in humility. I didn’t mind, though, because the confidence took me to a college I never would have thought I could attend when I was younger, on some world travels, and beyond.

Advice:

What advice would you give to the Before you?:

It is okay to fail. I was lucky, in a way, that I got into the singing group the first time I auditioned. Had I not, I may have let that be the end and been swallowed by my teen angst until it developed into adult bitterness. I’ve failed many times since my teens, most notably by studying 4 years to enter a career that I ended up hating, but the sun has continued to rise after every failure–literally and metaphorically. Move on, move on, move on!

Then:

Did you consider yourself an ugly duckling in high school?

I don’t think I would have described myself with the phrase “ugly duckling” in high school; I definitely felt like a “late bloomer.” I weighed 98 pounds on the first day of 9th grade. I was so short, skinny, and flat chested that I was regularly mistaken for an eleven-year-old, even by the age of 15 or 16. Boys were completely disinterested in my flat chest, sharp elbows, and knobby, coltish legs. Girls laughed “with” me about my training bras and the sag in the seat of my jeans. I felt invisible most of the time, and as though I was on display solely for the purpose of ridicule for the rest.

Now:

When and how did you officially “swan?”

College made a big difference for me. I made some really great friends, and I gained a pleasantly-placed “freshman fifteen”. But mostly, I just grew out of adolescence and learned to be a lot more comfortable with who I was. Once I liked myself better, the rest of the world started to come around, too.

Advice:

What advice would you give to the Before you?:

I’d tell myself to hang on, and stick it out. That high school boys usually make crappy boyfriends, anyway. And that all those girls laughing at me were just as self-conscious about their big boobs and thick thighs as I was about my painfully conspicuous lack thereof. I’d promise that one day soon I would love myself to pieces, and that my flawed, fabulous body would come to perform miraculous feats. I’d give my high school self a big strong hug and tell her that she’s absolutely gorgeous. And I’d hope like hell that she believed me.

Submit your own THEN and NOW story HERE!

Then:

Did you consider yourself an ugly duckling in high school?

Definitely. My nose was too big for my face, my eyes were too brown and I had a big butt. That’s what I thought anyway (I would kill for that butt now). I was happy enough doing my rebellious, nerdy, arty thing, but resented the popular kids, I guess because I wasn’t one of them. Of course I never tried to be one of them, so I don’t know what I was expecting..

Now:

When and how did you officially “swan?”

In my senior year of high school, I had enough credits to start taking classes outside of school. It made me more independent, and more interesting. But it wasn’t until a few years into art school that I really felt comfortable in what I was doing and who I was. And to be honest, it sometimes takes even longer than that, but I think growing up on the inside is a very slow process.

Advice:

What advice would you give to the Before you?:

You are beautiful, and all the other girls probably feel the same awkward way. Yes, even the popular kids. No matter what happens in high school, when you and your classmates grow up you’ll all be the same. Adults with your own lives, your own interests and your own unique qualities. Try not to spend a lot of time worrying about silly things. You’ll be grown up soon enough. Just make the best decisions you can, and your future will unfold in its own special way.

Gudrun blogs every other Thursday at Fierce and Nerdy. Read her past blogumn HERE. And submit your own THEN and NOW story HERE.