The Two New Loves of My Life [Wassup 2010!]

As I’ve told many people IRL and online already, I’m hoping that IVF will produce one more miracle baby for us by the end of 2010. But because I’m anxious, I’ve started to get a little scared that it won’t work the second time as easily as it did the first. Sometimes I think that I just shouldn’t talk about it. Maybe if I keep my hopes secret from the universe, then it won’t burn me.

But then I remember driving to my first date with my future-husband, CH, and saying, “Universe, I’m ready, I’m truly ready,” and that turned out pretty well. So I look at pictures like this 4-seater orange Vespa, and I imagine myself and CH on it sometime during the 2020s with our daughter, Betty, and her future sibling, tooling around the Italiano countryside, and I think, “Yes, this could happen.”

For whatever reason, I’ve always believed that if I talk aloud about something good happening, then it will and if I imagine something bad happening, then it won’t. For example, I never, ever imagined that my mother would die early, but before my date with CH, who I was really excited about, I said, “Universe, I’m ready, I’m truly ready.”

The other day I read something which opined that a novelist shouldn’t tell anyone about her work in progress, just like a mother shouldn’t tell anyone about the life growing inside of her until it’s at least three months old.

I actually believe the opposite. When Betty was confirmed, I told EVERYBODY. I called up friends, I wrote about it on Fierce and Nerdy. If a random friend asked me how I was doing two weeks after I found out Betty was a go, I would say, “Well, I’m pregnant!” I committed to to the new life inside of me.

And I commit to my novels. It’s the least I can do. I’ve never stuck with a guy that refused to label me his girlfriend and I don’t see any sense in not letting people know what I’m passionate about. “Hi, everybody, this is my new love, The Awesome Girl’s Guide to Dating Extraordinary Men, and I’m soooooo into it. I mean my nose is wide-open for this novel, even though I’m not sure if it loves me back yet, just because it is so very, very dope.”

Anywho, orange is my favorite color and I love this Vespa. I’m painting a 2020s picture in my mind of me and my family on this Vespa, and I’m committing to it. It’ll happen.

I just know it will.

Click on the below pic for more info about the Vespa.


Ernessa T. Carter is the author of the novel, 32 CANDLES, which will be released by HarperCollins/Amistad on June 22, 2010. Pre-order your copy on Amazon here.