From March 4, 2010

Okay, I’m just an hour away from finishing my latest audiobook, but I’ve accepted that that hour is just not going to happen today. So look for that review next Tuesday and let’s talk about the new Wii game, JUST DANCE, b/c every time I mention this game on Facebook, somebody’s asking me whether I like it or not. So w/o further ado, here are my thoughts, organized in what I have decided to make my usual reviewing fashion:

Why I Decided To Buy It: The commercials made it look like so much fun. Also, this seemed like an even more fun version of Dance Dance Revolution, which CH and I played a lot when we were slimming down for our wedding. But on a more practical note, the way my (absolutely free) weight loss program [more on this later] works is that I’m given a low number of calories and after that, the more calories I burn, the more calories I can eat. My MIL is a fantastic cook, so I need to burn a lot of calories if I want to enjoy a decent dinner. You burn about 292 calories after an hour of non-aerobic dancing, and a ton more with aerobic dancing, so I’ve been dancing like a fiend lately.

What’s It All About: Basically you hold the Wii Remote in one hand and mirror the movements of either a male or a female dancer. And you accumulate points by how well you mirror her or him. Both dancers looked like they escaped from an iPod commercial.

What Makes It Different: Unlike DDR, you actually get to do real dance moves. And there’s a huge variety of songs from the 60s, 70s, 80, 90s and 00s.

What I Loved: Dancing to 60s music just plain makes me happy and I understand why teenagers used to have so many dance parties back then. I also loved, the one Africanesque Dance song set to Fatboy Slim’s wonderous “Jin Go La Ba,” the reggaeish moves from “I Like to Move It” (it turns out that song isn’t just for the zoo animals in Madagascar), and I don’t know who Divine Brown is, but her song “Bebe” is just fantastic to dance to. Lots of heart-pumping songs, and it burns way more calories than a half hour on Wii Fit Plus — I know b/c I tested both out this week. I can’t wait to play this game with someone else.

What I Didn’t Like: Unlike with DDR, you can’t put together a play list and do the dances in succession with out have down time between them. I had to spend at least 30 seconds scrolling through options just to get to the next song — that doesn’t sound like a lot, but you notice it when playing the game. Also, you only have the option of two white avatars. I really felt they should allow you to use a Mii like over Wii games. And it doesn’t feel like the remote is matched up with your movements on some of the songs. I swear, I did most of the Divine Brown moves right and they were still claiming that I was missing most of the cues. Frustrating. One last thing: I wish they would get some kind of calorie counter on this game, so that I had a better approximation of how many I was burning. But maybe they’ll do that in the 2.0 like Wii Fit did.

Oh and I just remembered to add that the “Who Let the Dogs Out” routine was even worse than I expected to be, considering it’s set to the most irritating song ever. Not only was the routine lame, but they made the poor iPod refugee dress in a dog costume. I’m sure the producers thought this was cute, but all I could think was, “This isn’t what this poor guy imagined when he was getting his BFA in the Dance Arts.” I hope he got paid.

To Whom Would I Recommend This Game: Moms, Families, Calorie Counters, People Who LIke To Dance, People Who Need to Ease Into a Regular Workout Routine, People Who Want To Do A Little Cardio Before Their Workout, and People Who Are Bored With Their Regular Workout.

Click on the pic to purchase Just Dance from Amazon!

From January 13, 2010

So this week’s current mood picture refers to the fact that I’ve sent my last pass of 32 CANDLES back to the publisher, and am now hankering down with a new women’s fiction novel called the The Awesome Girl’s Guide to Dating Extraordinary Men.

As I mentioned last week, I was all sorts of in love with this new novel … but that was before I actually started working on it — or if we want to stretch the romantic metaphor, before I moved in with it. Now, I’m finding out the weird — almost schizophrenic way — that these characters who seemed hot-to-go when I was with another novel, are actually demanding nags.

The novel has four main characters, but there’s one that I like particularly and she has been hinting that she wants to be a comedian. Yes, a comedian — even though I have little to no experience with performing comedy — only writing it. I tried offering her many other career options. I was even willing to let her be a writer, though I try to never, ever make my main characters writers — just because the actual act of writing is so boring that I know it’s not really of interest to anyone but other writers. But she stood her ground and insisted that she had to be a comedian, b/c that’s what she was.

Okay, so though, I’m a write-at-home mom with limited evening time to do research, I shot off emails to a couple of female comedians I know and asked to shadow them at their next performance. Fine. But that’s all! I tell my characters.

But how about the Spanish telenovellas? the guitarist-turned-singer asks.

Wait, what Spanish novellas?

You’ve got to watch some Spanish telenovellas, b/c that’s totally what I do at like four am in the morning to unwind.

How about anime? I say. I love anime.

No, it’s Spanish novellas, she assures me.

And don’t forget about Scotland! another character calls out. This book won’t be truly finished until you go to Scotland.

Mind you all of these characters are black, so in 2010 I have to learn what it’s like to be a struggling female comedian, watch Spanish telenovellas, and go to effin Scotland from a black perspective — b/c funny that, there’s not a lot of information out there about black American women who are perform comedy, watch Spanish telenovellas, or take trips to Scotland, so I can’t even cheat, which I would totally be willing to do to get out of researching all of this.

I don’t want to say that this book is way more high-maintenance than 32 CANDLES, but the farthest Davie ever made me go was Solvang. And I’m a little non-plussed that the characters are pushing me so far outside of my comfort zone.

How about you guys? How do you handle research, and have your characters ever started making strange demands like this? Let me know in the comments and wish me luck with this rough draft.

Oh, and let me know what you think of my author photo!

.

Ernessa T. Carter is the author of the novel, 32 CANDLES, which will be released by HarperCollins/Amistad on June 22, 2010. Pre-order your copy on Amazon here.

You know how wounded animals often go off to suffer alone? That’s basically where I’m at. I’m singing and not talking to anybody and composing blog posts to get through the pain.

CH is the best husband ever b/c he’s not engaging me just rubbing my back, handling all interactions with Mariah the nurse, rubbing my back occasionally and making sure that my monitor cables get reconnected correctly when I come back from energy-sapping trips to the bathroom. Every so once in awhile it sinks in particularly deep that this man truly gets me, and I love him even more for that even if this situation is technically 50% his fault.

I’m totally over labor. If I could go back in time and schedule an elective C-section like I hear most European women do, I would totally do that. I have never felt more selfish than this in my life and all my what’s-best-for-Betty thoughts have flown out the window. And I’d rather be sore and on bed rest for a week than in labor pain for hours and hours b/c Americans are scared of science.

That’s probably the pain talking.

Writing really helps. At this point I feel like I’m gathering up energy to put out another blog as opposed to resting to push. So thank you for reading.

I’m already very interested to see how I handle my next pregnancy now that my eyes have been opened.

Sorry that this blog has no structure. Hopefully by the next time I talk to you I will have had an epidural. Epidurals are a gift from God. I now worship at their altar.

Why do people always say “You’re alone when you’re born”? That’s a lie and I’m fairly sure a man came up with that nonsense. None of you were alone. Your mother was there.

Your mother was there.

From May 4, 2009

Photo by Kalimba Bennett

So as you may or may not have noticed, I haven’t been talking about the writing process much lately. Many of you might have thought this was because I got sick of navel-gazing. But c’mon, I’m a neurotic writer — which means that I will never, ever stop obsessively picking at my own belly lint. I mean ever. So get that thought out of your pretty little heads.

Alas, I haven’t been writing about writing lately b/c the saga of my first novel has been changing too fast to keep you up to speed til now. Here’s the recap, if you haven’t been with us up to this point — oh, and if you don’t want to go through the whole chronicle, just skip down to #4. That’s when it really gets good.

1) Around Christmas 2007 I finished the rough draft of a novel about an ugly duckling named Davie Jones who becomes obsessed with getting a Molly Ringwald Ending (a beyond perfect 80′s movie ending), even though she’s completely unpopular, the daughter of the town hooker, and extremely poor. She eventually escapes her small Mississippi town, reinvents herself as a lounge singer in Los Angeles, only to re-meet her high school crush 15 years later. I dubbed the book Molly Ringwald Ending, and I worried on my then-one-person blog that no one would like the novel that I had spent almost two years cobbling together.

2) After months of rewriting, I emailed the book to my sister. She declared it good, so I sent it off to a fabulous book and screenplay editor named Karin Gutman, who I had met after my story was chosen for the Spark! Six-Year Anniversary Storytelling Event and inaugural CD. I approached choosing a book editor like dating. I had met quite a few highly-qualified book editors, but you know I got to talking to Karin (who’s also a Spark! producer) at the big storytelling event’s after party, and we ended up having such a lovely conversation about all sorts of things outside of novel writing, so I decided to go with her. Karin did a brilliant edit which inspired many more months worth of rewrites. She also suggested that I change my title to A Molly Ringwald Ending, so I did.

3) After many more months of rewrites, I had a draft that I was willing to send off to agents. However, having gotten a BA in English and an MFA in Dramatic Writing, I knew from experience that I wasn’t that great at copy-editing my own work — I’ve got a crack-cocaine like passion for commas, ellipses and dashes that must be rehabbed by others, and no matter how much I re-read, I can’t ever seem to catch every writing error, changed character name, and so on and so on. So despite feeling a little impatient at that point — I sent it to my fellow Smithie and great friend Emily Farrell. And she sent me back the best copy edit in the history of copy-edits. I would highly recommend her to any writer and you can contact her here.

4) So about a year after I finished my rough draft, the novel was final ready. And by “ready,” I don’t mean “perfect.” I mean that I was so sick of worrying over it that there was nothing I could do but send it out into the world. I’m sure my parents felt the same way when they sent me off to college. So I spent the 2008 Entertainment Production holiday hiatus sending out letters to agents. I happily ended up with Sarah Jane Freymann from the Sarah Jane Freymann Literary Agency in February. I chronicled that process here — and yes, I once more compared it to dating. Leave me alone.

5) As it turns out, A Molly Ringwald Ending is totally not fair-use. I sent the actress’s agents a heartfelt letter through Sarah Jane. And Molly Ringwald’s lawyers sent back a huge … no. So I asked you guys to help pick a title, and much to my surprise, 32 CANDLES totally won. That’s all chronicled here.

6) So in April the newly-dubbed 32 Candles finally went out to a bunch of publishing houses. You think I’m going to say this was like dating again, and you’re totally … right! The thing about dating is that you put yourself out there, and you only have your instincts and your experiences to guide you. Along the way, you meet guys that you like who don’t like you back. And guys who like you, but is it the right match? And a lot of in-between. People end up together in all sorts of ways, but I maintain that it’s best when both parties choose to be with each other with equal enthusiasm.

7) Which is why I’m just beyond happy to say that 32 Candles has been sold in a pre-empt to Dawn Davis (ed. Pursuit of Happyness; The Known World; Act Like A Woman, Think Like a Man; Black Water Rising) at HarperCollins, which means the book will be hitting a bookshelf near you (as long as “you” live in the States) some time in 2010ish. 2011 if the publishing gods deem it necessary.

Of course, I’m beyond thrilled. Thrilled and extremely shocked. No matter how hard one works towards a goal, I don’t know that anyone’s ever truly prepared to actually get what they want. I’m still surprised that I love my husband and that he loves me back. I’m still having a hard time believing that IVF actually worked and I’m going to be a mother in less than 2 months. Quite frankly, it’s just astounding to me that so many good things could happen. I can remember sitting in my dorm room 12 years ago and believing that nothing good would happen ever again after my mother died.

But good things did happen, are happening. And I’m so incredibly grateful, I can’t even put into words how very much I’ve appreciated all of your support throughout this process. Just thank you, thank you, thank you. It’s only May, but I can already say that this has hands down been the best year of my life.

100% Love,

etc

From February 11, 2010

I’ve been reviewing mostly fiction up to now, but as I mentioned last week, I’ve become very interested in fully learning the art of promotion before 32 CANDLES hits bookshelves. And sense I’m a page-to-life learner, I’ve been reading a lot of books on the subject. Here are my thoughts on the latest self-help-for-self-promotion book: GET KNOWN BEFORE THE BOOK DEAL by Christina Katz.

Why I Decided To Read It: Like I said last week, I’m completely gung-ho about getting out there and promoting 32 CANDLES, I’m just not sure how to go about it.

What’s It About: Building your platform, so that you can more easily get a fiction or non-fiction book deal.

What Makes It Different: Unlike a lot of the other self-promotion books that I read, GET KNOWN is both comprehensive and engaging. Usually it’s either/or with these books.

What I Loved: This is basically the self-promotion bible I’ve been waiting for. There were so many good ideas in here that I had never considered before. Ms. Katz is a straight-shooter and her writing style is both compelling and engaging. It felt less like a read and more like a conversation with a professional. I kept on having to put down the book and make notes, I got so inspired. Also, if you don’t have a platform, she helps you figure out how to get one. I absolutely think that every MFA student should get this upon graduation. Yes, seriously!

What I Didn’t Like: You know how they say, “Don’t judge a book by its cover”? I think they should change that into a piece of advice for authors: “Readers do judge a book by its cover. They just can’t help it.” I’ll admit that I order six books on the subject of book promotion, and I read this one dead last, because the cover was so unappealing. In fact the only reason I read it when I did was because I had accidentally ordered two copies of the book from Amazon and I was planning to send a care package of American food to Gudrun, our FaN expat. She’s just written a fantastic YA novel, so I was going to include the extra copy, but first I had to read it to make sure it was good, which it was. My point is the content was fantastic, but the blah green, maroon and grey cover — not so hot. I kept thinking that this Ariel Gore cover should have been on this book — by the way, Gore’s book is worth a read, too, but it’s not nearly as comprehensive.

On another note, Ms. Katz slams oversharing in a way that seems a little lazy. There are plenty of oversharers who have landed fantastic deals, and I still believe that if you have a talent for being raw and forthcoming that you should use that talent as opposed to censoring it for fear of offending the sensibilities of people like Ms. Katz, who don’t care for oversharing. Complaints like that these have actually become a huge pet peeve of mine because I hear it so often from those in the media, and it’s an argument of personal taste as opposed to IRL results. Also, does it matter if others share what you would keep secret?

Writing Lessons Learned:

Write yourself as expert. Ms. Katz didn’t just give information. Many of her points were introduced with sentences like, “When I was teaching my students this” or “When I was lecturing about that.” It made me realize that context is just as important as the advice itself. By taking the trouble to paint a setting of her actually being an expert in an expert arena as opposed to just delivering a list of her expert advice, I really came to trust that what she was saying was true.

Start promoting yourself now. Writing a novel is a long process, and a lot of people don’t believe that they can start promoting themselves until they have a well-written book under their belt. So not true. If you are writing a book or even thinking about writing a book, start reading this now, because there are a ton of things that you could be doing to get your name out there. In fact I’m bummed that I didn’t pick up this book sooner.

Promotion as procrastination and/or supplementation. So every so once in a while, I finish the day’s pages and read all of my writing exchange partner’s stuff with time to spare in my daily three hour writing session. Before this book I used the extra time to surf the web. But now, I try to implement one of the lessons from this book and get the pre-order word out about 32 CANDLES. On the other hand, promotion is also a fantastic way to procrastinate. Not only does it put off writing for a little bit, but it’s also productive and in the end, inspiring. I actually feel a little more pumped to write after I’ve hit my promotion goals for the day.

To Whom Would I Recommend This Book: Writers, Artists, Pundits, Teachers, Small Business Owners, Anyone Who Has Anything They Want to Promote

TEN PEOPLE (or COUPLES) WHO WANT TO READ THIS YESTERDAY: Gudrun C-D, Marilyn F, Halie R, Amy R, Jeff R, Monique & Brian V, Lyn G, Missy K and Raoul C, Roya H, Kelly L, Aaron H (just to see how many things you’re already doing right!).

Click on the cover pic to buy the book.

From July 29, 2009

Image Credit: Khantipol

So I have this character in my rogue sci-fi novel who gets weirdly and rather childishly excited about everything and therefore ends up saying, “Yay!” a lot.

Or should it be “Yea!”?

Or should it be “Yeah!”?

Like me you’ve probably seen this exclamation spelled all three ways by others. I personally prefer “yea,” but will go with “yay” according to the addressee and/or the occasion.

For example, I might say, “Yea! I can’t wait to see you again” to a college buddy visiting town.

And “Yay! The 2010 reunion is going to rock” to a family member.

I never say “Yeah!” b/c I feel it sounds a little too much like I’m pumping my fist in the air when I write it this way, but I do understand what attracts other people to it.

Still, I wish we could all agree one way of spelling this exclamation. Then I’d really say yea!

Or yay!

Or yeah!

Sigh… But seriously, how do you think we should spell it? Let’s hash it out in the comments.

I’ve been thinking about this blogumn a lot lately just b/c not having the same last name as your husband always becomes a bit more hard to manage when you’re traveling. I know a ton of women who haven’t changed their last names, but apparently a lot of travel professionals don’t. This has come up daily on our trip. Still my original opinion on the matter stands.

From March 24, 2009

It’s funny, b/c though I’m a feminist, it would never occur to me to get on top of another woman for changing her name after she got married.

For one thing, I do realize that this is a choice, and if you give people a choice, I don’t necessarily see why you would chastise anyone for not making the exact same choice that you would’ve made.

Also, I have a few conditions that made not changing my name particularly attractive:

As a writer I place a lot more value on my name than a woman in a different profession might. Plus, I love my name. I mean really, really love it. My first name is unusual but not so much so that it’s embarrassing or particularly hard to explain. My middle initial fits in perfectly with my other two names, and because I loathe my middle name it comes with an air of mystery that it wouldn’t otherwise have if I didn’t often refuse to answer the question, “So what does the T stand for?” with anything but “Terrific!” And did I mention that my initials are “etc?” C’mon why would I ever want to change my name?

However, a few of my relatives have had a hard time understanding that. One of the few aunts who had dared to navigate the scary internets (with the help of her daughter of course) to access my shower registry confronted me about this at my St. Louis baby shower. “It still has Ernessa Carter in there? Is it so people who knew you before you got married can find you?”

I was blunt. “You know me, Aunt Ann. I kept my name.”

Aunt Ann looked truly mystified when she asked, “Why wouldn’t you take the name of the man you swore to love before God?”

Given my audience and the occasion, I decided not to crack open the subject of identity politics and my doubts about whether deities actually tracked whether or not you changed your name after marriage. Instead I said, “Because I really love my name and writers don’t change their name. We’re kind of like actresses that way.”

Aunt Ann gave the older black woman equivalent of a harrumph and we changed the subject to more agreeable topics.

She was actually the first relative to confront me about this. Many of my relatives have either assumed that I changed my name or aggressively ignored the fact that I told them I hadn’t. Either way, everyone in my family, save my sister, addresses all of their Christmas and birthday cards to Ernessa Hibbard. And my sister doesn’t send me birthday or Christmas cards.

Some members of the public aren’t much better.

Most hotels wave me through, when I tell them that I’m CH’s wife, even if there is a different name on my ID. But I had to wait in a San Diego lobby for CH to vouch for me when one male hotel clerk decided that he couldn’t let me up because I didn’t have the same last name as my husband. Also, there was the time when I went to St. Joseph’s to pick up CH’s X-rays for a broken shoulder and hand that he had suffered after a bike fall. The white-haired film clerk had the X-rays in her hand and was ready to hand them over to me, but then she saw that my ID said Carter as opposed to Hibbard, and she said that she couldn’t give them to me.

Mind you, my name was all over his hospital paperwork as his wife. CH wasn’t cleared to drive or write yet. And this was the last chance I had to get the X-rays before his big appointment with a hand specialist. I went to complain to the St. Joe’s officials, and they agreed that the woman wasn’t allowed to withhold films because our names were different. So she came back saying that this wasn’t the reason she had withheld the films. Now she couldn’t release them because there were laws that wouldn’t allow her to without the consent of CH, even if I was his wife and all over the admitting paperwork. So CH scribbled with his good right hand on a piece of white paper — he’s left-handed, so this literally looked like a child had written it — and he faxed in his permission.

Now, I knew this was basically bullshit, b/c if I was actually someone intent on stealing these films I could’ve gone to the nearest Kinko’s, pretended to be CH, and faxed in “my permission’ so that I could get his records — and I would’ve done a better job at it, too, since my handwriting wouldn’t have looked like a pre-schooler’s. This woman was just being ornery b/c I hadn’t changed my name and she felt that I should have. Of course I was fuming by the time I left the hospital with the hard-won X-rays in hand.

I love my name so much and these incidents are so few and far between that I usually don’t let them get to me. However, I am concerned that it’ll become an issue with Betty, since her last name will also be Hibbard. How about if some stupid film clerk, says I can’t get her X-rays because our last names aren’t the same, and so on and so on?

Though, as the population ages and more women decide to keep their names, I have to expect that these incidents will happen less often.

Also, in many more ways I’ve found it a lot more convenient NOT to change my name. No messy paperwork, no having to change my email, or risking old friends not being able to find me because of a new moniker. No new driver’s license, social security card or passport. I filed my marriage license and checked “Married” on my W-2 and that was about it. So you know, there are both upsides and downsides to not changing your name.

.

flickr.com photo credit: Dimitri dF

Photo Credit: Jen Collins

So we’re doing re-runs of our favorite Fierce and Nerdy blogumns Fierce and Nerdy while I’m on my two-week vacation. I chose this column, b/c now that I’ve gotten published I’m asked for even more advice. And this advice on asking for professional advice applies even more so.

I would add this to #4: If you’re seeking writing and/or getting published advice from a published author, read her or his book before you ask her or him for any advice or favors. This is one that I thought would go w/o saying. Man, was I wrong about that. So I’m saying it. Dude, you have no business asking anyone for advice if you haven’t done the basic act of reading/watching/researching whatever credit made you think this person might be a good one to ask for advice.

From November 11, 2009

So lately I’ve been in the somewhat weird position of being asked for professional advice. Don’t get me wrong, I love giving and asking for advice, however, I’ve noticed the following sometimes-common mistakes:

1. Not Asking For Specific Advice. Now I love hearing about other writers’ backgrounds and how they came to writing and their journey so far. Seriously, I eat that ish up, so keep it coming. However, I just hate when the email ends like this: “So I’d appreciate any advice you might have.” Really? You want ALL my writing or getting published or blogging advice? Because I have a ton of it. I mean enough to write a book, which I would then expect you to buy. This is the one time you shouldn’t be general. Ask a specific question or even questions and you’re more likely to get a response from anyone you ask for professional advice.

2. Over presumption. If I haven’t met you IRL, there is pretty much zero chance that I’m going to agree to talk with you on the phone or meet with you in person because you asked me to in your first email. First of all, I hate talking on the phone. Second of all, I can barely find time to talk to my sister and my BFF regularly. If phone time is to be had, I’m calling them. If in-person time is to be had, I’m meeting with my woefully neglected IRL friends. So stick to email. And if you really want to meet take the time to log enough back and forth that whoever you want to meet will want to meet you back.

3. No compliments. This happens extremely rarely. So rarely that I almost didn’t put it in. But just in case: You know that if you write someone seeking advice, you should tell them what you admire or like about their work, right? You don’t have to be (and really shouldn’t be) gushy, but just asking for advice w/o so much as a compliment or congratulations will make you seem self-centered, even if you’re not.

4. Do your research. I try not to ask anyone for advice without researching them first, but a few times I’ve been asked questions that a simple Google search would have answered, which makes me judge the asker as lazy and unprofessional. Even if they’re not.

5. Follow-up. This is actually something that I myself have a lot of trouble with and have learned the hard way is really important. If someone takes the time to give you advice, follow up with an email thank you. Also, let them know when you make progress on your goal. I got a few emails from professional friends and advice-givers alike along the lines of, “So-and-so just told me or I just read on Facebook that you got published. Why didn’t YOU tell me/” And they were totally right. If someone made an individual donation to your success, then take the time to thank them AGAIN when you meet your goal.

So I know a lot of our readers are professionals in various fields. What advice do you have for people seeking professional advice? Sound off in the comments!

That all said, here is my Hello Friday for the week.

Here's the hair pic I've been promising all week. Loving the new color as done by Julie at Trust Salon in West Hollywood. Oh, and click on the pic to revisit my worst day of the year (so far). And don't worry, I'm still rocking glasses, but they're transitions, so they don't look so great in outside pics.

1. Like Zack Bunker, I find the Drag-U concept of turning women into fierce drag queens somewhat baffling. But if this show were set in a frat house or male strip club or anything like that, I’d be it’s #1 fan.

2. Like most people who have a couple years of therapy under their belts, I occasionally miss it. So Dr. Miro’s speed-shrinking event sounds all sorts of fabulous.

3. I don’t re-read books. And when I read posts like Amy Brown’s revisit of UNDER THE TUSCAN SUN, I’m glad for it. Loved the movie, though. But now I’m afraid to rewatch it. Luckily I don’t revisit movies either.

4. When I worked at the United Jewish Federation in Pittsburgh (still my favorite day job to date), they had several programs to send Jews who had never been to Israel there to visit. Basically no matter how poor you were, the UJF made sure that you could visit Israel at least once. I thought that was a fantastic program, and I was really touched reading about Michael Kass’s own journey to Israel. I hope he reports back after the summer hiatus.

5. Ever since reading Sarah Fazell’s disavowing of her long time crush, Mel Gibson, I’ve been trying to think of a star that I originally liked before realizing that he or she was a terrible human being. And I can’t think of one. M/b I’m just good at calling a celeb’s true personality from the get-go. Oh, wait, I’m now remember my middle school crush on Bobby Brown. Nevermind…

Well, back in 2006, The War of Art by Steven Pressfield (which I consider my writer’s bible) introduced me to the concept of “fear as your true north.” Basically Pressfield asserted that being scared to write something is a good thing — fear means you should write it. This inspired me through the rewrite of 32 CANDLES and has served me well while writing my follow-up, THE AWESOME GIRL’S GUIDE TO DATING EXTRAORDINARY MEN. But I’ve also started applying the concept to my real life.

If someone asks me to do something and my first instinct is to say no because it scares me, then I force myself to do it anyway. That’s basically how I operate now. I’m not an overly confident person (the word neurotic has come up in descriptions), but I try to do the things I’m scared to do.

So when I saw this GalleyCat article, suggesting that authors do an impromptu book tour with the JetBlue All You Can Jet (AYCJ) Pass, which allows you to travel to any JetBlue city between Sept. 7 and Oct. 6 for $700, I was intrigued. So intrigued that I actually got all the way to the payment page, before calling my husband to talk me out of it.

I decided that

1. Switching the Fall tour to September as opposed to October would mean I’d have to scramble.

2. I don’t like asking folks for stuff, and doing an impromptu tour means inundating both my business and personal contacts with requests.

3. What if no one comes out? I live in fear of the zero-person book event.

4. That’s a lot of organization and meeting new people. I wondered if I have it in me, since at the end of the day, I’m still a rather disorganized shy person.

5. My plan had been to work on the second draft of THE AWESOME GIRL’S GUIDE TO DATING EXTRAORDINARY MEN in September.

So I decided to stick to my original plan and wrote yesterday’s “One More Thing Before We Go” about why I was passing on the AYCJ Pass. BUT I couldn’t stop thinking about the opportunity and after lots of thought and a conversation with my one of my publicists, I came up with the following:

1. What others call “too soon” might actually be an invitation to get your ish together right now.

2. The best advice I’ve gotten from a fellow writer to use all of your favors for your first book. So no, I don’t like asking folks for stuff, but that’s not really a good reason not to do so.

3. Yeah, it will be embarrassing if no one shows up, so I should make sure that doesn’t happen.

4. Knowing I’m disorganized and shy helps tremendously with being disorganized and shy. Only the disorganized and shy will understand why I just said that.

5. I’ve been hitting my writing goals all this week with a) my MIL and dog in the hospital, b) no childcare, and c) no guaranteed writing time. I can hit my writing goals on tour. In fact, this week might have been bootcamp for writing on tour.

But most of all, I was scared to buy the pass, and fear is my true north, so…

I went home, took a deep breath, reopened my laptop after my toddler closed it (twice), and bought the pass. An hour later JetBlue announced that the 7-day version of the pass had sold out. And now I’m writing this blog post, straight representing for scaredy-cats everywhere and wondering, where should I go in September?

Oh, and fellow writers, definitely click on the pic to purchase The War of Art if you haven’t already done so.